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Boris was born destructive
Are you tired of those pesky picture frames hanging on your walls or sitting on your tabletops? Do you wish there was a way to not merely get rid of, but destroy collectable figurines? Are you suffering from too much sleep, as in a couple hours per night? Are there books in your home that you silently plead would be drenched in water and then chewed on? When you shower, do you ponder what life would be like with a reportedly water loathing creature trying to climb into the vestibule of cleanliness with you? 

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, have I got a deal for you. Today, and today only, Boris is available to visit your home on a permanent basis.

Offer does not apply to all states. Must show proof of intent to keep cat for as long as it lives. This company is not responsible for your personal wellbeing or the possibility of needing psychiatric treatment. If you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, seek medical help for your strange fetish with cats. Boris has been shown, in some cases, to cause bloating, insomnia, lack of appetite, changes in mood, gambling and sleepwalking. 

Every Color Deserves A Forever Home
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